Wednesday, December 15, 2010

So Tired...

Both Sunday night and Monday night were tough ones for me, sleepwise. I had trouble sleeping both nights, tossing and turning and what not. I also had very strange dreams, ones that I only vaguely remembered, but still haunted my waking hours.

Last night I finally fell asleep and only woke up a few times during the night, but slept through for the most part. When I woke up I hoped I would feel refreshed, but today was the worst morning yet this week.

It snowed three or four inches overnight and as I was out there cleaning the snow off the cars I was in a half daze. When I finally finished cleaning all the snow off my car I was trying to open my door and it wouldn't budge. I thought, "Crap! My door is frozen shut." I went to the passenger's side door and met with the same problem. I was about to go back in the house and get my wife to take me to work until I realized that I had not unlocked my car. Once I took care of that, the door opened just fine.

What is amazing to me about this story is how I was able to get up, get ready, make breakfast, and clean snow off the car and still basically be sleepwalking for how useful my brain was through all that. The simplest act of problem solving was beyond me this morning. What should have taken me two seconds took two minutes to figure out.

In most stories, even fictional ones, there is a grain of truth. All the zombie movies had to come from somewhere, I think zombies do exist, but only for an hour or so every morning. There are millions of them across the world. The true un-dead are the working world just after 5am.

Monday, November 29, 2010

I go by Author or Novelist...

The challenge is complete. I have fought the good fight, I have kept the faith, I have written 50,000 words in 28 days.

I win.

It feels good, all the not knowing if, then the not knowing how, then not knowing when, then knowing soon, then knowing victory.

My story actually is not done yet, I am currently at 51,076 words but if I had to venture a guess I would say that the novel will be complete in another 20,000 words probably. I will continue to write every day until it is finished.

Then what? You ask. I'm not sure yet. I'll let it sit for a while before coming back to work on the second draft. At least long enough to let me work on something else entirely almost to completion. I have a few interesting ideas of what to work on next. One of them involving the Cheshire Cat. That story would be shorter, maybe in the 10k words range, but it might be a fun departure from the science fiction book I'm about to finish. I'll figure it out once this current project is done.

After a complete second draft is finished, and I'm not sure how long something like that would take, remember I'm a first timer here, I'll look into getting it published. I'll definitely have my group of first readers read it though. They can tell me if it's worth the paper it's printed on or not.

We'll see.

Monday, November 22, 2010

Nanowrimo Day 22

I just realized that I havn't updated on Nanowrimo since day 4. I guess it makes sense though, as I have been so busy writing my novel that writing in my blog just doesn't seem nearly as important. Especially since I'm not sure anyone reads or cares, I mostly write for me on here.

Nanowrimo is going well. With the 1667 words a day I am supposed to write, my word count should be at 36,674. I havn't written anything today, so I really should be at 21 days worth, which is 35,007. My Novel, which has yet to present a name for itself, stands at 40,200 words.

This nameless monstrosity stands as a testament to the sheer perserverance of man. I never thought I could do it, week two made me think I would quit, but as I enter the last week of this insane challenge, I see that the end is not only in sight, but that I believe I will make it.

Only 9,800 words separate me from greatness. I've always wanted to write a novel, and now that I'm almost there, can almost call myself a novelist, it seems anticlimactic. Did I change the world? Did I create the great American novel? Nope.

It did change me though. Maybe my novel created the great American David. Maybe it is just the peice of work that creates the path for all other peices of work I might create. I don't know.

What began as a fear of not being able to finish, then evolved into a fear of reaching 50k words but not being done with the story, has now mutated into a fear of this novel being the only story I have in me to tell. I believe all of these fears stem from some nameless primevil entity that dwells in the basement of my brain. That entity knows only shadow and only ventures out seldomly. I would have rooted it out long ago, but it sometimes is the only part of my brain that functions when all the other parts are frozen. Its the one that knows how to survive and does what must be done. I think the fear part of it really is just it's way of trying to protect me. From myself, and from failure.

I tell you this though, protecting yourself from failure is doing yourself a disservice. Failure is a great teacher. It's lessons are branded on my brain in a way no other lessons could be. I say be couragous, fail brilliantly, and then get up again armed with new experience. The next time, success will be that much easier.

With a sickness...

I'm at work. I'm sick. My mind feels like its somewhere else though.

My nostrils are at times stuffed and then runny. They constantly feel like they are on fire though. I might as well be breathing fire. The coughing has gotten better though, it used to be I would cough till I choked. Same with the sneezing, yesterday it felt like there were small razor blade factories in the lower portion of my lungs and the only way to ship the product out was to sneeze. These factories had not yet discovered boxes however, instead they shipped the razors haphazardly in singles. Every time I would sneeze these razors would cut their way through my lungs, up my throat, bouncing off the back of it, and out my mouth.

Whoever the buyers are, I wish them a slow death.

The back of my neck feels tight, like someone with a large boot is standing on the back of my neck. Then there's the not so visible effects of the sickness. My stomach complaining as it tries to digest the energy I need to beat this bug. The subtle draining of energy as I try to function at my normal level at work.

I wish I could go home. I can't though. I need sleep. I need a new body.

The medicine did not help. I took it just over an hour ago and there has been no demonstrative change in my condition. Unless you count feeling worse. I dont though.

I got a flu shot this year, for the first time ever. This is not the flu, at least I don't think it is. It started on Saturday and I think I'll be better by tomorrow (optimism, ya dig?) but if this is a cold I havn't had a cold this bad in a long time. Years, even.

I have a long and storied history of getting sick on Christmas day. I think its the blatant consumerism in the face of celebrating salvation. Either way, of the last 30 christmases I've been sick for at minimum half of them. I do not, however, have a history of getting sick in the middle of November. That post Thanksgiving dinner feeling not withstanding. I think everyone gets that. Lets hope this is my Christmas sickness jumping the gun this year. I will be in DC with the family and I would love to not be sick during that time.

I'm obviously not too sick to work, so I'd rather be sick while I have to be at work than be sick while I'm on vacation. I'm sure you agree.

Anyway, wish me luck on fighting off this plague.

Friday, November 05, 2010

It's time to Check out, Sir!

Ah, Friday. So difficult not to just check out mentally at work. You know, since my work is so fulfilling and interesting and all that. It should be a pretty eventful and stressful day, because I have 51 people I manage and of those people 5 of them are extra. Today I have four people on vacation and four people called in sick. So, I am down three people and still have the same amount of work to do. Yay! Go Team!

In other news, my Nanowrimo Novel is at 9300 words. I'm currently averaging 2325 words a day. This is well above the 1667 words a day needed to complete the 50,000 words in 30 days challenge. My Goal is actually 1923 words a day since I lose 4 days in the month to resting on Sundays. It's crazy because 9300 words seems like a ton but it amounts to about 15 single spaced pages in Microsoft Word. That seems kinda meager to me when I reflect on how difficult it was to write all those words. According to many published authors, the more you pratice the skill the easier it is to do. Stephen King described it as teaching your brain to enter a waking dream state and then transcribing what you see there.

I agree that it is more than just thinking and then typing, but I think in the two hours a day I spend (on average) writing my Nanowrimo Novel, I have only achieved something similar to this state for a few minutes at a time each day. I think it's great that I'm even able to come close to what these great authors describe as how they write. It makes this whole experience worth it.

The fear of not finishing is ever present though. There are times, however, when a different fear takes its place, the fear of getting to 50,000 words, but not being done with my story. The more I write and the closer I get the more these two fears change top spots in the back of my mind. At the same time, if I manage to get to 50,000 words, whether the story is done or not, I'm going to be celebrating.

My current goal is to be at 13000 words by Tomorrow night (since I don't write on Sundays). that will put me just above target.

All in all, this experience has been awesome, even in the first 4 days of writing I've already learned a lot. I would definately recommend this event to anyone who is even remotely interesting in improving their writing skills.

Thanks for reading!

Tuesday, November 02, 2010

Madness? This is...

Nanowrimo! Day 2. This crazy challenge is already taking it's toll. I woke up this morning feeling like I had only slept an hour or two. I actually slept 7 and a half. Getting from my bed to the bathroom, to the kitchen, I literally felt like I was dragging a dead body along. The only problem? That body was mine.

Yesterday I wrote 3,007 words in two hours. In order to complete Nanowrimo the daily goal, in terms of words, is 1,667. So according to that I did almost double duty yesterday. That's to be expected though, only the first page or so is tough, then you fly along until you hit some major roadblocking plot development. Oh, and then there's the ever present fear that I will run out of story before hitting anywhere close to the 50,000 mark. Yeah, I do my best to ignore that fear.

What I am really hoping is that the tiredness I feel in the early morning really has to do with how much I'm taxing my imagination, and not with how much I'm not enjoying work right now. I told Vanina this morning that I didn't think I'd make it to Thanksgiving. Having 4 days in a row off, that hasn't happened since September, and then it felt like a dream that I floated through all too fast.

I was looking on the Nanowrimo website at some of the other users and their current word counts. Some of these people must have taken the day off yesterday (from work or school) because there are a few of them that are over 15,000 words. In one day!

Madness...

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Odds and ends...

Today's post will be a number of random items that I thought you might find interesting/amusing.

First, when I got in my car to go home from work yesterday, I felt a spider web cross my face and settle around my head. I was not happy about that. Some damn spider had gotten into my car and set up shop there. Admittedly, I think that spider bit off more than he could chew when his web crossed my path, but still my car is my space only. I wouldn't have even mentioned this event, had I not recently learned about the Utah Hobo Spider, whose bite you can't feel and can cause this to happen.

Today I will finish my last PhD School application. I started this past weekend and have so far applied to 9 programs. These programs are all over the country and I won't hear back from any of them until late February at the earliest, so the waiting game begins tomorrow. I don't much like that game, let me tell you.

As one chapter closes (PhD apps) another begins, that next chapter being my thrid attempt to successfully finish Nanowrimo. For those of you who do not know what Nanowrimo is, it's a 30 day challenge where you attempt to write a 50,000 word novel in 30 days. What I've always heard is that the third times a charm, so we'll see if I can make it happen this time around. Last year was almost a total bust, as I was busy being a newlywed and writing wasn't anywhere near the top of my list of priorities. This year, I've used every ounce of extra energy I have to get everything else done so I won't have anything getting in the way of the time I'll need to accomplish this challenge. I have at least one friend willing to attempt this with me, if you are game too let me know. Wish me luck by the way.

Last, I have a new dilemma I've never had before. Here's the situation: Have you ever been really good at something, but you really didn't enjoy it? Particularly something they will pay you good money to do? Yeah, I know it sounds like the dilemma of a character in some novel. It's not, it's the problem I've having at work right now. According to my boss, my boss's boss, and his boss, I'm pretty damn good at my job, like top 10% they've ever seen. In fact, I'm so good that I'm in the running for a promotion to Plant Manager (the next rung on the corporate slave chain...I mean ladder) in Chicago (a job that comes with a 20k a year increase in pay). The main problem is, when I'm at work I feel like I'm watching the paint peel. Yes, it's that boring.

You gotta remember, I used to work in the IT industry, doing technology stuff. I was working on stuff that sometimes I barely understood myself, but damn if it wasn't intersting. Here, I'm working in the textiles industry and most of the product innovations we have here (polyester blends, washing machine formulas, chemistry) were old when my Grandmother was looking for her first job. Not a whole lot of interesting going on. "But the money!", you say. Yes, yes, the money. I couldn't care less. I mean that last part.

Let me know what you'd do if you were me...(you already know what I'm doing, see paragraph 3 above).

Friday, October 15, 2010

T.K.O. SHATT 2.0

Welcome to the redesign! So I noticed today that Google had completely overhauled the Design portion of Blogger, and since I was bored out of my gourd today at work, I decided to give my blog a new (and hopefully refreshing) look.

It's most assuredly brighter if nothing else. Being that I was at work while I was doing this, I got interrupted several times and it took most of the day to finish what should have taken no more than an hour tops. If you notice any discrepancies with the color scheme or boxes or anything like that please let me know in the comments section so that I can fix it.

Enjoy!

The Pain that Keeps on Giving...

Not many of you know this, but I have had a hurt back for the past fourteen years or so. It started as a sports injury that hurt for a while then went away after resting and didn't bother me again for five or six years. Then I re-injured my back, thankfully after I came home from Panama, in another sports accident. Since then, it has been an on again, off again recurring pain. In 2009 however, it stopped doing the "off again" portion and became a continuous pain that only wavered in level of relative pain.

So I finally decided to do something about it. First, six months ago, I went to a general family doctor and he prescribed me Gabapentin. This is a medicine for Epileptics to control seizures. It is also used to control nerve pain. The most interesting thing about this drug is a sentence from the medical information page that comes with the drug when you pick it up. It reads, "It is not known how Gabapentin controls seizures or reduces nerve pain." This sentence is printed directly after the paper tells me that this medicine is used to control seizures and nerve pain. Damn, I love modern medicine.

Last week, after switching insurance from my company's sucky one to Vanina's amazing insurance, I got an MRI and went to a back/joint specialist (all covered). He reviewed my MRI and told me that I have Herniated Nucleus Pulposus (Spinal Disc Herniation) with nerve impingement in my L4.5 disk (my sciatic nerve). Basically this means I am in pain all the time but my pain spikes and shoots down my leg when I bend over forward or lift objects weighing more than a few pounds.

The doctor has prescribed me to get a Spinal Injection (yes think Epidural) of Cortisone, and go to Physical Therapy afterward. Hopefully, the injection will reduce the inflammation (and pain) in my back allowing me enough time (months) to complete my physical therapy regimen and strengthen my core muscles so my back won't return to the way it is now.

I'm scheduled for this spinal tap on Thursday. Wish me luck.

Friday, October 08, 2010

1st Anniversary!

It's hard to believe that it has been one year already, but it has! Vanina and I were married one year ago this sunday (two days from now). We will be celebrating this momentous occasion privately, at the Waldorf-Astoria here in Utah.

We are SUPER excited about this weekend! I hear wonderful things about this Hotel, and will be sure to report on it after the fact.

It has been getting colder and colder here, and raining alot this past week. We are hopeful that Saturday will prove an exception to this though, as we would very much like to hit up the Mountain resort to play on their Zip lines and slider coasters during the day. If it is raining this won't happen, as wet and cold don't mix very well at all.

No matter the weather, Park City has much to offer. In fact, I have yet to visit that city during the warm months but have been there numerous times during the winter (for film festivals and snow activities mostly).

I hope everyone who reads this has a wonderful weekend planned as well.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Free Advertising

So Vanina and I went to Costco last night for dinner. She was actually craving Chinese food, but she also wanted a Chicken Bake and she opted for the latter.

When we got in line to order, we noticed a new item on the menu: "The Carne Asada Bake." Vanina decided to give it a try. I'm so glad that she did. After one bite of that thing, my polish dog and combo pizza no longer seemed appetizing.

Now, I have long since stopped eating chicken bakes. I no longer like the taste, but this new Carne Asada Bake has restored my liking for the bakes. I am a Mexican food junkie and this thing hits the spot like nothing else on Costco's menu (not to mention the fact that it tastes better than most things on some Mexican food restaurant menus).

If you love Mexican food like me, do not pass go, do not collect $200, go straight to Costco and purchase a Carne Asada Bake for lunch.

Oh, and a little bonus tip for you: if your Costco membership is expired (like ours is) you can still use the card as a "Show Me" (little Fringe joke there) to get into the store and then go purchase food (which does not require a card).

That is all.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Nostalgia, Cheese steak, and Home...

This past weekend my wife and I went to a place called Moochies here in Salt Lake. Moochies is a little hole in the wall italian deli style food place. Just so you get my meaning, the place is attached to a pottery store and there is a sign inside that says "For restrooms please go next door to Circle Pottery." That's how hole in the wall it is.

Nevertheless while growing up I would always eat really good cheese steak subs and I have been craving one for some time now. So, I did some searching online and found that Moochies' cheese steaks were rated number two in SLC. The number one place was too far to drive just for a cheese steak (like 20 minutes one way).

The website I found online was NOT wrong. The cheese steak subs we ate were really good, if a bit pricey. It totally reminded me of home and growing up and my grandparents (who loved eating out at little hole in the wall sub places). So for the memories, tasty food, and good feelings the price was not too much.

As long as it's not too often, because I'm sure that sub was terrible for me! It tasted oh soooo goood though!

Oh, and if you happen to be in my old neighborhood check out one of the deli's I used to go to: Gina's, you won't regret it.


Wednesday, January 20, 2010

A Day in the Life...

7:50 am - Woke up ten minutes before my alarm. Looked at my wife who was still sleeping soundly. Cuddled up next to her to warm her up for a few minutes before I got up.

8:01 am - Alarm went off. Rolled out of bed and said my morning prayers. Entered the living room and sat down at my computer. Checked my email, spam, spam, more spam, rejection letter, rejection letter, facebook spam (just to mix things up), another job rejection letter...love the job search.

8:22 am - Got up from desk to stretch. Getting old, so gotta keep my body limber somehow.

8:43 am - Sat down to read some comics, they always make my mood brighter at the beginning of the day. I'm currently in the middle of the comic version of some of my favorite novels, Homeland, Exile, and Sojourn by R. A. Salvatore. If you like fantasy you might want to check it out.

9:15 am - Started the job search for the day. Prepped it by setting up all the websites I would use later on. Began search.

9:43 am - Went back into the bedroom to read scriptures with my wife. We are nearing the end of Mosiah, where Alma the younger and the sons of Mosiah show up and is trying to destroy the church, then an Angel appears to tell them to knock it off. Lots of good stuff in there.

10:22 am - Walked into the kitchen to make breakfast for my wife and myself. She wanted cereal, Honey Nut Cheerios, and I decided to eat leftovers from the night before. Vanina doesn't like leftovers so I thought I'd save her from having to look at them in the fridge.

10:34 am - Began my french lesson for the day. I recently got the Rosetta Stone program and it is awesome. Je aprende le francais.

11:05 am - Wife left for some kind of modern day tea party at her best friend's place. Decided it was time to let off some stress/steam by chopping some heads off in Ninja Gaiden Sigma 2 on the PS3. This game not only has out of this world graphics, but it is also pleasantly challenging.

12:30 pm - Decided to eat again, yes it's only been two hours but I am only partially the master of my stomach. It was leftover time again, last night's pasta tasted even better today.

1:00 pm - Job hunt kicks into high gear.

2:02 pm - Wife calls to tell me she's gonna be late, she's going to hang out with her sister for a while.

3:00 pm - High gear can only last so long. Turned on the Tivo to watch Eraser while I continue applying and searching. The search continues...

3:30 pm - Wife comes home and fills me in on how her day has gone, and how her sister Vanessa is having a terrible day.

Sometime between 3:33 pm and 5:40 pm - It's almsot like an episode of Lost except with a whole lot less retarded time travel and a whole lot more job searching. So I guess it wasn't so similar to Lost except that I felt lost in my job hunt.

5:44 pm - Went to get ready for my date with my wife.

5:55 pm - Got sidetracked in getting ready...

6:33 pm - Finished getting ready.

6:36 pm - Left for our date.

6:56 pm - Arrived at Crown Burgers for dinner. Ate good food. Greasy, fast-food, and terrible for us, but oh so good.

7:25 pm - Purchased useless tickets at the electronic ticket booth in the theater. Walked right into the theater without ever seeing the ticket checking person. Watched The Blind Side.

9:10 pm - Got some dust or something in my eye and it started watering like crazy.

9:32 pm - Left the movie theater and returned home.

10:53 pm - Finished my blog entry.

Thats a day in the life...


Monday, January 18, 2010

I'm black so I could be President, but I'm unemployed...

Happy Martin Luther King, Jr. day!

It's been a while, obviously. I can't help it, sometimes I have things to say, sometimes I don't. This might actually be a post where I don't have anything to say, that remains to be seen.

I had a crazy dream last night, it was essentially a new Mark Wahlberg film. He was a small time crook working for his Dad, who owned a deli in the inner city (what city? no idea). Then this new type of mafia showed up and Mark's Dad wanted him to help him find out who they were. See this new mafia was super secretive they used fear to keep control of the streets and no one knew who was controlling who. Meanwhile, Mark meets this woman (Scarlett Johansson) and begins a relationship with her, but she ends up falling into the whole mess with the crime and the new mafia and it causes problems with their new relationship.

Yeah, it was pretty crazy.

So the job hunt continues, no surprise there since our economy is full of milk and honey right now. Or was it full of Fail and Recession? I get confused on that point sometimes.


As you probably know I live in downtown Salt Lake City. I've lived here for about 8 months and periodically (maybe once a month) I see some strange things as I travel around the city. Today I went out to run some errands and saw a man in the median on 700 e in between South Temple and 100 S. As I passed by he laid down in the median, placed his backpack on the ground and proceeded to use it as a pillow while he crossed his legs and laid full out in the median. Now, let me remind you it was 35 degrees outside at the time. This guy didn't look homeless, he was an older man, but he was most definitely crazy. He was laying there like it was the middle of summer or something.

I probably shouldn't be surprised seeing things like this anymore since crazy stuff like this happens all the time around here.

Thats all for now, cheers!