Those of you who know me well know that I don't curse very often. Like most human beings, I am susceptible to many human failings and cursing is one of them; however, I still rarely do it comparatively speaking.
My current job makes me wish I was a sailor.
Every day something happens and my face starts to feel a slow burn and all these colorful words pop into my head. Words usually reserved for drill sergeants and professional sailors.
I thought I'd write a little to blow off steam, but it's really not helping. Which is sad, because writing random crap on my blog usually makes me feel better. I'll start to go off on one tangent or another and end up in a totally unexpected place far from where I thought I'd end up. The view from that new place is usually interesting and different, it brightens my mood while shedding new light on the day.
Today happens to be the first really sunny day of spring here in Utah, and all I can see is shadows.
I find out the sex of my first born child one week from today. That's a happy thought, one that usually makes me smile. Right now it's like a snowflake trying to put out a raging forest fire for all the good it's doing me.
In my life I have used words as both sword and shield, armor for the ages. But right this moment I feel defenseless.
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Friday, April 08, 2011
On working, waiting, and writing...
I don't even know what to write about right now. I'm at work and I just needed to get away for a moment or two (Or quit altogether, I haven't decided yet)...
Since starting to write that Nanowrimo Novel, I've found that it's a little bit easier to get lost in my own head when I'm sitting at a keyboard typing something into a blank word editor. I used to stare at the blank page, wondering how I'd ever be able to fill it.
Now, I type and type and get lost and wonder if what I'm filling it with will ever be worth something to someone. Sometimes I look at what I've written and break the rules set by people like Stephen King: those rules say write and write and write with the door closed. Don't worry about the critics or the writing. Just get the details of the story down and leave the rest for editing. I look down and I wonder how any of this is going to matter. I stop myself before deleting though, just because I don't want to make the time I spent writing feel any more like a waste of time than it already does.
Yesterday was a 2nd rock bottom at work. I don't know what happened, I thought Tuesday was bad, but Tuesday was a "bright sunshiny day" compared to yesterday. Maybe it's the weather. Now that I know I'm moving to Tucson, every time the Utah weather reminds me that Spring is just a word and nature doesn't give a damn about that word, I'm also reminded of how long two months can be when all you can do is watch the clock and pray.
I've spent a lot of time reading the Penny Arcade blog in the last few days. Jerry Holkins has an interesting way with words, one that I would never attempt to emulate but that helps me think about the possibilities of the sentence differently. Sometimes I'll be reading one of his rants and he'll say something like, "I don't think we're quite ready to play that game yet. In fact, I don't think I would be ready until I've played n + 1 games. Where n is the number of games you could possibly play in a lifetime."
Think about that sentence for a minute...Yeah it's different, that's for sure. I don't make value judgements on whether or not it's a great group of sentences or not, that's not for me. What I do though, is evaluate it against all the possible sentences that could push me to have a better understanding of the possibilities in writing, and I say it's way up there on the "Opening up my eyes" scale. It's like he took a rant and pulled a theorem out of a math textbook to describe some aspect of his life. This I like, it's something that helps me to be a better writer.
I've been thinking about writing much more during the last six months, but even more than that during the last six days. Since I've decided on a PhD school, and the lion's share of work in a PhD program is writing, I've been fixated on the topic and what I can do to be successful. Obviously, writing every day is part of the success program. Not so obvious is what more I can do to fine tune my writing. I'm still working on it, but I've got some pretty good ideas.
Vanina says I'm an amazing writer (the current blog notwithstanding). I tell her she's pretty amazing herself, but that I'm not done getting better at writing yet. Hell, I haven't even finished my first book yet (working on it, I'm on the very brink, but that is probably 20 thousand words or so, so I guess it depends on your definition of brink).
PhD school will require a whole new level of writing. I'm excited and anxious about it all at once. I love putting pen to paper (metaphorically) and seeing the results afterwards. In fact, I always find it fascinating to go back and read something I wrote, whether from five days ago or five years ago. It's almost like reading a letter from someone you've known your whole life. It's obviously your writing and your thought process, but it seems like it's coming at you from a whole new direction. It's a deja vu experience, without that whole "glitch in the matrix, oh crap they're coming to kill us" feeling.
Ok, I better get back to trying to finish my Friday. I hope all of you are having a better work week than I am. Even a better day today that I am would make me happy.
Since starting to write that Nanowrimo Novel, I've found that it's a little bit easier to get lost in my own head when I'm sitting at a keyboard typing something into a blank word editor. I used to stare at the blank page, wondering how I'd ever be able to fill it.
Now, I type and type and get lost and wonder if what I'm filling it with will ever be worth something to someone. Sometimes I look at what I've written and break the rules set by people like Stephen King: those rules say write and write and write with the door closed. Don't worry about the critics or the writing. Just get the details of the story down and leave the rest for editing. I look down and I wonder how any of this is going to matter. I stop myself before deleting though, just because I don't want to make the time I spent writing feel any more like a waste of time than it already does.
Yesterday was a 2nd rock bottom at work. I don't know what happened, I thought Tuesday was bad, but Tuesday was a "bright sunshiny day" compared to yesterday. Maybe it's the weather. Now that I know I'm moving to Tucson, every time the Utah weather reminds me that Spring is just a word and nature doesn't give a damn about that word, I'm also reminded of how long two months can be when all you can do is watch the clock and pray.
I've spent a lot of time reading the Penny Arcade blog in the last few days. Jerry Holkins has an interesting way with words, one that I would never attempt to emulate but that helps me think about the possibilities of the sentence differently. Sometimes I'll be reading one of his rants and he'll say something like, "I don't think we're quite ready to play that game yet. In fact, I don't think I would be ready until I've played n + 1 games. Where n is the number of games you could possibly play in a lifetime."
Think about that sentence for a minute...Yeah it's different, that's for sure. I don't make value judgements on whether or not it's a great group of sentences or not, that's not for me. What I do though, is evaluate it against all the possible sentences that could push me to have a better understanding of the possibilities in writing, and I say it's way up there on the "Opening up my eyes" scale. It's like he took a rant and pulled a theorem out of a math textbook to describe some aspect of his life. This I like, it's something that helps me to be a better writer.
I've been thinking about writing much more during the last six months, but even more than that during the last six days. Since I've decided on a PhD school, and the lion's share of work in a PhD program is writing, I've been fixated on the topic and what I can do to be successful. Obviously, writing every day is part of the success program. Not so obvious is what more I can do to fine tune my writing. I'm still working on it, but I've got some pretty good ideas.
Vanina says I'm an amazing writer (the current blog notwithstanding). I tell her she's pretty amazing herself, but that I'm not done getting better at writing yet. Hell, I haven't even finished my first book yet (working on it, I'm on the very brink, but that is probably 20 thousand words or so, so I guess it depends on your definition of brink).
PhD school will require a whole new level of writing. I'm excited and anxious about it all at once. I love putting pen to paper (metaphorically) and seeing the results afterwards. In fact, I always find it fascinating to go back and read something I wrote, whether from five days ago or five years ago. It's almost like reading a letter from someone you've known your whole life. It's obviously your writing and your thought process, but it seems like it's coming at you from a whole new direction. It's a deja vu experience, without that whole "glitch in the matrix, oh crap they're coming to kill us" feeling.
Ok, I better get back to trying to finish my Friday. I hope all of you are having a better work week than I am. Even a better day today that I am would make me happy.
Tuesday, April 05, 2011
And the winner is...
Unversity of Arizona! I have decided to attend the Eller College of Management for my Strategic Management PhD. As you may or may not know, I received offers from Northwestern's Media, Technology, and Society Phd program and from the University of Arizona. My wife and I spent the entire month of March both deciding and waiting to hear back from the rest of the schools. All of those results produced rejections unfortunately, so the choice came down to just the two schools. In the end, we decided that Tucson, and the University of Arizona were right for us. I'm so excited for the fall! I can't wait to start this new adventure!
Snow and Lightning
Vanina and I just got back from an Caribbean cruise this past weekend. The week before the cruise we checked the weather and rain threatened at all three ports of call. That information turned out to be wrong, thank goodness. All three ports, Cozumel, Grand Cayman, and Jamaica had good weather during our day in port. It was cloudy in Cozumel and for part of the time in Jamaica, but the sun shone and we both got tans (and burns) for our time in the sun. The day we returned to Salt Lake City it was raining. A few hours later that rain turned into snow. After spending a week in the tropics, snow was the last thing I wanted to see. The only good to come out of it is that it reminded me of something I have been meaning to blog about since February. Around the 1st or 2nd week of February it snowed here in Salt Lake. That is nothing out of the ordinary for this valley during winter, however during this snowstorm I heard thunder. I had never heard thunder during a snowstorm before so I immediately went to the window to check it out. As I was looking outside, sure enough I spotted flashes of lightning lighting up the sky. I couldn't believe it. Lightning during a snowstorm! It was pretty amazing to behold. All of the snowstorms back home (in D.C.) are full of wind and ice, but never lightning. Thunderstorms are common occurrences during the spring, summer, and fall, but all of the storms in the winter are sans lightning and thunder. The main reason I wanted to document this experience is that I'm now into my fourth decade of life on this planet and I thought I had experienced all the types of weather that I was going to experience. Lightning in a snowstorm was totally, unexpectedly new. Its nice to know there's still something new under the sun for me to experience every now and again. Here's to the new!
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